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Forgiveness
Patients who are experiencing a life-changing event such as a
cancer diagnosis, treatment, and survival, or death, often
reevaluate personal and religious values. The need for forgiveness
and reconciliation may weigh heavily on their minds (Halstead &
Nilssen, in press; Mickley & Cowles, 2001). Forgiveness of self
or others may be helpful in preventing or alleviating depression,
anxiety, or other psychopathologies. Although forgiveness is a
precedent for reconciliation, reconciliation does not always follow
(Festa & Tuck, 2000). Forgiveness does not mean "forgetting" the
offending incident or pretending that the offense never occurred.
Rather, letting go of negative emotions associated with the incident
becomes possible through forgiveness.
Case Study
Although Diane Brady does not appear to be struggling with issues
related to forgiveness, as her disease progresses, she may indicate
that she is angry at God or feels abandoned by God. Careful
assessment will help the nurse uncover if this anger is related to
her depression. Often, patients who are angry at God need assurance
that God can "take it." Writing a letter to God expressing their
anger can be helpful. Once the source of anger or feelings of
abandonment are expressed, individuals can be encouraged to
"forgive" God--something that takes place over time.
Process of forgiveness
- Recognition of incongruency between personal values and anger,
resentment, disappointment, or other negative emotions
- Inability to tolerate the tension of incongruency
- Motivation to leave a positive legacy by "living out" personal
values
- Identifying and evaluating understanding of the behavior
causing the negative emotion
- Developing a level of empathy for the offender
- Acknowledging that forgiveness would relieve the internal
tension
- Deciding to forgive or "let go" of negative emotions
associated with the offense.
Facilitating forgiveness
- Active, intentional listening
- Maintaining a non-judgmental attitude
- Assisting the patient to identify priority values
- Exploring alternative behaviors
- Considering potential benefits, as well as potential losses,
in forgiving
Resources
Festa, L. M., & Tuck, I. (2000). A review of
forgiveness literature with implications for nursing practice.
Holistic Nursing Practice, 14, 77-86.
Halstead, M. & Nilssen, H. (in press). Spiritual care of the older
adult with cancer: An evidence-based review of spirituality and
health. In D. Cope & A. Reb (Eds.), An evidence-based approach to
the treatment and care of the older adult with cancer.
Pittsburgh, PA:Oncology Nursing Society.
Mickley, J. & Cowles, K. (2001). Ameliorating the tension:
Use of forgiveness for healing. Oncology Nursing Forum, 28,
31-37.
Halstead, M. (2005). |
