Prayer

Prayer:  Worship.  Belief in a divine being.  For many people, these are important parts of life.  Polls consistently show that more than 90% of people in the United States believe in a God or Higher Power.  About half of Americans regularly attend religious services or pray.  Incorporating prayer, faith and worship into your life may give you a sense of community, tradition and spiritual satisfaction.   

Asking permission

It is ethical practice to ask a patient if they would like you to pray with them or for them. Consider asking the following questions:

• Would you like me to say a prayer with you?
• Would you like me to pray for you?
• If he patient would like to pray, ask “What is the most comfortable way for you to pray?"

Preferences for prayer may be one of the following

• Private prayer
• In silence
• Repeat after me
• Read a scripture and meditate on it
• Read a devotional selection and meditate on it
• Rosary Beads, Rosary Wheels, bowls, gongs, etc
• Jointly recite a prayer from the individual's personal tradition – specific liturgy
• Listen to a prayer being said

If permission is granted, ask, "Is there anything particular you would like mentioned in prayer?”

The Prayer 

Make a connection between their situation and their faith tradition. for example:

• Catholics: End the prayer with “The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit”

• Christians: End the prayer with “In Jesus Name we pray” 

• Protestants: Most Protestants use spontaneous prayer (not formal, written prayers).   Protestants may also use bible scripture within prayer.

Variations in Prayer

God is perceived in different ways depending on the situation.  The beginning words of the prayer may depend on the situation. For example: To begin prayer,

• In a difficult time, use the words "Holy or Mysterious God," "God of Anguish," or "God of all mystery."

• In a relatively "good" situation, use "Heavenly God," "Loving God," or "Gracious God."

• Open-eyed Prayer: "I will be hoping for good test results for you," " I will send you good energy tomorrow for your surgery."

• For Catholic Patients it would be useful to know or to have a copy of  “Hail Mary:”

  Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.  Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of they womb Jesus.  Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.  Amen

   

• For Christian patients:   Our Father (there are 3 versions – debts, trespasses, sins--use whatever form the patient is comfortable with).

  Our Father, Who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive our debts, (sins/those who sin against us, trespasses/those who trespass against us) as we forgive our debtors, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.  Amen           

  Note: The line in red is not said with our Catholic Patients.

Some Special Issues: 

Praying across religious tradition--Ask yourself, "Am I praying my prayer or their prayer?" "Can I do this with spiritual integrity?" "What are their names for God/The Holy?"

Praying for miracles--again, ask yourself--Am I praying my prayer or their prayer?" "Whose needs am I trying to address?"

Sample pre-op prayer:

Gracious and loving God, We give you thanks for your presence here, and for the gifts of healing you have bestowed on all who care for ______________ here.  We pray that her/his surgery may go well, that the doctors may find out what is wrong, and that they will be able to treat it.  Return ___________ to full health.  Or if that is not to be, give her/him strength to bear her/his illness, and the reassurance of your peace.  Watch over her/his ________________ while she/he is here in the hospital.  Guide the hands and hearts of all who care for her/him here, that they may do their work with skill and compassion.  Give peace to those who wait this day.  Reassure them that their love for __________goes with her/him into the surgery, assisting in the healing process.  Bring them safely together again, in the relief of surgery successfully accomplished.  These things we pray, in the name of all that is Holy, Amen

Praying with children (just like with adults, only more so):

Name what is happening in simple words: “Whatever happens, let _____________know she/he will always be surrounded by your love.”

Praying at the time of death:

Give thanks for the life of the patient; pray for forgiveness; pray for strength for those who grieve.

Sample prayer for the dying: "Holy and Mysterious God, We come to you with the prayers of our hearts, and trust that your Spirit prays for us when we do not have the words. There is so much we do not understand.  We do not understand why it is that ___________is so ill.  We cannot understand why we must be parted.  We do not want it to be so.  And yet it is.  Help us to bear this time with dignity. We give you thanks for the life of _____________ , wife/mother/sister/daughter to those gathered here. Forgive her/him the burden of any of life’s faults, and give her/him a sense of your peace that surpasses all human understanding. Forgive us for any ways in which we failed _____________, and give us that same peace. When the time is right, we pray that you would welcome _____________ into your kingdom, where there will be no more weeping, no more suffering, no more pain, and where one day we will all be rejoined in the heavenly reunion. Be with those who mourn.  Reassure them that their love for __________will never end.  Be a source of strength and comfort.  Bind this family together in love, that they may support one another, this day and in the days to come.  All these things we pray, trusting in your mercy, Amen.

(Touching the dying person’s forehead)  May God bless you and keep you.  May God’s face shine upon you and be gracious unto you.  May God look upon you with kindness, and give you peace, now and forever more.  Amen

Interfaith Resources 

Appleton, G. (1985). The Oxford Book of Prayer. Oxford: Oxford University Press. Comment: Mostly Christian prayer, but a sampling of prayers from other world traditions.

Batchelor, M. (1995). Children’s Prayers from Around the World. Minneapolis: Augsburg.  Comment: Multicultural situational and liturgical Christian prayers.

Bly, R. (1995). The Soul Is Here for Its Own Joy: Sacred Poems from Many Cultures. Hopewell, NJ: Ecco Press. Comment: Works from many times, cultures, faith traditions.

Carmody, J. (1995). Psalms for Times of Trouble.  Mystic, CT: Twenty-Third Publications. Comment: New psalms, accessible to those for who the psalm genre is familiar.

Casteli, J. (1994). How I Pray. NY: Random House.   

Chervokas, J. (1989). Patient Prayers:  Talking to God from a Hospital Bed.  NY: Crossroad. Comment: Earthy theistic prayers about the patient experience.

Koenig, HG. (1999). The Healing Power of Faith. NY: Simon & Schuster.  

Michell, S. (1993). A Book of Psalms. NY:Harper Collins. 

National Conference for Community and Justice. (n.d.) When You Are Asked to Give Public Prayer in a Diverse Society:  Guidelines for Civic Occasions.  NY: Author. Comment: Excellent guidelines, within the parameters of theism.

Pederson, B., Blincoe, K., & Carter, M. (2002). Prayers for Peace.   NY: Graphis, Inc,.  Comment: Interfaith and international, classic and contemporary, in response to 9/11

Rmen, R. (1996). Kitchen Table Wisdom.  East Rutherford, NJ: Putnam Publishing.   

Salzberg, S. (2002) . Faith:  Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience. East Rutherford, NJ: Riverhead Books.

O'Dette, E. (2005)